When ignorance about breastfeeding coincides with an irrational fear of terrorists, what do you get?
A very nasty scene at a ritzy New York Country Club, that’s what!
This is exactly what Belgian diplomat Tom Neijens and his wife Roseline Remans discovered when they stopped by the Metropolis Country Club in White Plains, New York on June 8, 2013 and inquired about having lunch.
Club employees permitted the family to dine on the terrace despite the fact that they weren’t members, whereupon Remans began to discreetly breastfeed her daughter Luka at the table.
Neijens, first secretary of the Belgium Mission to the UN, told the New York Post that a female employee of the club quickly interrupted Roseline’s perfectly legal and proper feeding of her baby with this sharp rebuke:
“Please leave immediately, you are disturbing the members!”
When Neijens protested and said it would only take a few minutes, the female staffer insisted that Remans finish in the restroom.
Understandably incredulous at the blatant ignorance on display at such a high end establishment, Mr. Neijens inquired why a baby would be asked to have lunch in the restroom when adults are not.
The Greenburgh Police Department arrived minutes later with Detective Scott Harding apparently yelling, “Close the doors!” with two other diners ordered to leave the terrace.
Mr. Neijens described the chaotic scene as something straight out of a Western movie with the officer walking around like John Wayne with “one hand on his gun, one hand on his Taser.”
The officer warned the couple that they were trespassing despite the fact that country club staff had given them specific permission to dine. He also said that some fearful members thought Mr. Neijens’ black backpack indicated they were terrorists.
Most laughable if not actually true, is what the officer came out with next when a tearful Ms. Remans asked why terrorists would breastfeed at a ritzy club:
“In Sri Lanka, babies are used by terrorists.”
Well, you learn something new every day, don’t you?
Attention all breastfeeding mothers. Your milk engorged breasts are actually considered weapons of mass destruction by law enforcement authorities. That liquid is NOT food for your baby. It is actually highly explosive material that could detonate at any time, sparking a chain of events identified by the media as bona fide terrorist activity.
Detective Harding quickly backed off his ridiculous posturing when Mr. Neijens revealed his State Department issued identification.
He dismissed his over the top behavior by explaining that the club had received terrorist threats in the past.
Despite the fact that they were doing nothing illegal or improper and possessed proper identification, the couple was still escorted off the premises via the back door.
A few days later, Mr Neijens sent an e-mail demanding an apology from Country Club general manager Tracy Fraus and assistant general manager Audra Vaccari.
“I am deeply worried about your staff if they cannot distinguish between a European couple looking for a quiet place to breast-feed a baby and suicide terrorists carrying a backpack.”
Lt. B.J. Ryan, a spokesman for the Greenburgh Police Department, labeled the incident as a simple “cultural misunderstanding.”
Ahem. On behalf of breastfeeding mothers everywhere, I beg to differ.
Breasts are not “cultural” and there is no “misunderstanding” their true purpose. They are the universal instrument for optimal feeding of babies.
Not “boob grenades”.
Hard to believe the terrorism handbook didn’t cover this point properly.
Sarah, The Healthy Home Economist
Sources:
Belgian diplomat booted from golf club, treated “like terrorists” over wife’s breastfeeding
Couple “treated like terrorists” over breastfeeding and backpack at ritzy restaurant
the club was breaking the law, and the couple should sue to make that point.
This is so stupid.
But it’s perfectly ok for ladies, even teenagers, to wear low cut shirts and show off their cleavage. Breastfeeding is natural and beautiful. If you’re not breastfeeding ladies and girls, be modest and cover up.
OH GEEZ!
There are LAWS about breastfeeding? That’s just such a sad commentary on modern culture.
I couldn’t agree more!
Yep – states have to pass laws specifically excluding breastfeeding from indecent exposure, and often include caveats about where and when women can breastfeed. I was lucky when I had my daughters; we lived in Hawaii, and the culture there is very open about using breasts for their natural purpose. I could have whipped ’em out anywhere legally and no one would complain.
There are just so many ways that this is wrong. In the 21st century, and New York? The whole terrorist comment is obscene to me. It trivializes the entire discussion of what it means to protect the pubic against actual violence. At a minimum I hope the Country Club is a little embarrassed at the overreaction. And for the couple with their child, I hope this won’t be there predominant impression of America. I’d like to say that I’m surprised at this story, but sadly, I’m not.
This is unbelievable!
What happened to modesty??? I sure do not want to see a lady breast feeding a baby. Do it in private!!
So then a woman would have to stay home for two years or so while breastfeeding? Ridiculous! Also, you can breastfeed a baby in public and still be modest. I can promise you the only who has seen my breast besides medical professionals is my husband, not the general public at large. It is very easy to be modest. However, that being said, I attended a protest a few months ago and I saw a few woman pull the whole breast out to feed their babies. Frankly, who cares?
And your comment makes me wonder, Lauri, have you breastfed a baby for any decent amount of time? Concerns like yours are usually from people who have no experience themselves or have never seen anyone else do it. Once you use your breasts for feeding, they really just become tools. Really, it is de-sexualization (inventing this term), which we could use more of in this country.
Rebecca,
As a matter of fact I did breast feed for 2 years. So I have experience. The problem is modesty. When I breast fed I went to a bathroom and fed in private. Do you realize men are visual people? All they have to do is see a woman breast feeding and they are not thinking- oh she is just nourishing her child, no they just go right to sexual things! You want to de-sexualize this country then get rid of the men!! If women want to breast feed, great, but do it in private!! Not in the middle of a restaurant!! MODESTY! This country has lost that concept all together.
Why compromise the health of your baby because of what some men might think? If they are thinking sexual thoughts of breasts that are being used in a very un-sexual way, that is their problem. Feeding a baby in a public restroom in unsanitary. Think of everything you’ve done on a toilet. Would you want that next to you while you’re eating? Does it seem appetizing or even healthy to be around the activity, smells and sounds that go on in a public bathroom? No. So I’m a hell of a lot more comfortable if a man is looking in my direction (which has never happened; even the group of teenage boys weren’t staring the other day in Zaxby’s) while I breastfeed my son in public than being in a place where we go to poop, pee, throw up, blow our noses or change our pads and tampons.
We can’t control what others might be thinking about us, but as women we can be in charge of our children’s health. That should be our top priority as mothers.
I have never known a man who thinks that way if he has a wife or mother that breastfeeds. So the problem doesn’t lie with the breastfeeder. The problem lies with the other people who have not been exposed to it. They need to educate themselves. The more you are around breastfeeding, the more normal and not at all sexual it becomes.
Hon, it IS private. Once in my life I’ve seen a woman not cover up while breastfeeding. Most women don’t want to be stared at or even noticed while breastfeeding, and you’ll see LESS boob than normal. The only reason it’s an issue is because it makes YOU uncomfortable just knowing that’s going on. Sorry, it makes my baby happy, and it’s natural, so get over it.
It’s also a women’s rights issue. Why should we be cloistered just to comfort our children and ensure they are fed?
Then don’t look! Why are you staring at ladies with babies anyway? Maybe YOU should stay home you perv.
Laurie,
Totally agree. Some women need to show a little decency with their breastfeeding. Nobody wants to see their private stuff. Keep it respectful. We all have to live in this world together, so its not like I would excluded breastfeeding mothers (that’s not really fair), but keep it hidden. Please do not pull stuff out in front of my eyes as if you had a right to do that to me. It is a violation.
Simple solution: before you start doing this act involving your private parts in public, cover up with a light blanket. No one would even know what you’re doing.
Oh thanks Daniel for telling us women how do use our breasts. Wow. I’ve never heard of using a blanket to cover up before. How enlightening. Did you think that up all on your own? Stop looking if you’re uncomfortable. I bet you have no problem with cleavage though. For the record, I’ve never seen a woman NOT have a blanket over her when she’s breastfeeding in public. Have you? Or are you just making things up? It’s EXTREMELY rare to see a woman nursing in public, period. And when you do see them, they’re normally covered. Just so you know, breasts aren’t meant to be sexual. Men can walk around without a shirt, but how dare a woman privately try to provide nourishment to her babe. Ugh. Your comment is so ignorant.
Kay,
I’m apologize if the comment was offensive; to tell the Truth, I have seen women breastfeed in very indiscrete ways.
I never said it was a revolutionary idea to cover up with a blanket; that is why I said *some women* (not all – because I’ve seen many women cover up with a blanket) need to be more discrete. I am thankful for the women who cover up, showing respect for their family and the public at large.
For the record, I go out of my way not to look at any part of a woman except her face whenever I have to talk with her.
Sorry if I came off offensively; as I said, we all live in this community, and we have to find a way to live together without trampling on one another – in some semblance of harmony.
Kay,
I understand it is a sensitive issue, but women’s parts are not the only factor in play; other peoples’ eyes are also being brought into play.
So turn your head Daniel, or is your neck broken?
Would you feel the same way if I urinated in front of your eyes and said “just turn your head – stop complaining”? No. That is an affront. That is how I feel.
I wipe my breasts out for breast feeding my kids. I don’t expect you to wear a blanket over your head while eating don’t expect my child wear a blanket over their head will eating. I don’t care what anyone says or what their feelings are about the situation my baby is far more important than anybody’s opinion.
Please understand that having a blanket over one’s head makes the air all stale and hot. Many older babies will just refuse. Younger babies who aren’t coordinated enough to pull it off, can actually suffer from the lack of oxygen. Using a blanket is not a reasonable thing for many, many nursing moms.
That is a good point. I’ve never thought about there not being enough oxygen. There has to be some sort of answer for this other than, “I whip my breasts out…”.
Mandi,
That’s just selfish – and its probably how most people think. Oh well. People will do whatever they want just like they always have.
Good day
Daniel, how can a baby eating the food that God intended him to eat in way that God intended him to eat it in any way close to urinating in public? That would be a selfish act by doing what you want to do with no regard to others around you. Breastfeeding is the opposite of that by meeting the needs of another human being.
Just because women have breasts and men like breasts doesn’t mean that babies shouldn’t eat what is best for them. A mother being brave enough and committed enough to breastfeed despite the odds against her success is the furthest thing from selfish. A mother meeting the needs of her baby is a very unselfish thing to do. Being unconcerned with other’s opinions is a skill that every mother has to attain in order to be a successful parent.
I hope that your insensitive comments have never made a new and vulnerable mother give up on breastfeeding.
Lmao! I can not believe the stupidity of some people. And American like to think that they are the most advanced culture out there …. wrong! We are so backwards in our thinking and beliefs and just the fact that people get so upset by a woman breast feeding her child proves it .get off your high horses and stop thinking you’re so much better . Americans are the worse thought of people in the world and after what happened to a Diplomat lol well it didn’t get any better I’m sure. What happened to those poor people was rude , degrading and hostile . that idiot cop should have to write them a apology for his stupid remarks to them . personally Country clubs are passe and should be gotten rid of .it also goes to show that just cause you have money doesn’t mean you have any sense . you can still be as stupid as a brick.
We’re not all like that. Don’t paint all Americans with the same brush. There are many Americans on this page who are outraged and I guarantee if this went national, most Americans would think the country club was out of order. Just because there are some rude people in a country doesn’t mean that ALL people in that country are rude.
Yes, God forbid we mothers actually use our breasts for what God gave them to us for!